Getting back up!

What a day.  I knew for a few days in advance that I was ready to try riding again.  It just isn't something I can 'turn off'.  I went out today and was a little unsure of how the whole thing would go.  I thought about starting in the round pen and lunging with side reins, then switching to the saddle and riding in the round pen.  But, both of the round pens were being used.  Luckily, I have a good friend who offered to help me get on and lead me around.  I lunged for about 20 minutes first to make sure Boomer was still sane and wasn't going to turn into turbo horse.  More accurately, I think I was reassuring myself more than checking on him.  My friend took Boomer and walked him around, making sure he was OK with her leading him and would respond to whoa.  It made me feel good to know that precaution was being taken.  I mounted up and we walked off.  I had my friend beside me the whole time and Boomer was calm and relaxed the whole time.  I don't know what I had expected, but I was also calm.  Its a funny thing; it isn't fear, it isn't related to a specific event, there is no 'trigger'.  Its just me thinking about someone else.  My ONE job is to make sure this little baby is taken care of and doesn't get hurt.  I think I'm being cautious, but I'm not afraid.  Those emotions can be easily confused, I think.  Everything went well and I was thrilled to have gotten back on the pony.  John was really happy for me when I called and told him I rode again and he offered to go out with me this weekend so that I can ride again.  I'm really looking forward to it.    

The incredible thing about today was how it made me feel.  Just walking for 10 minutes while being led around doesn't sound like much.  But it was everything to me.  I would compare it to a 'first ride'.  You know the feeling, you had it as a kid.  You are on a lesson horse, and all you do is walk.  But you are on top of the world.  Why is that?  I think it has to do with expectations.  There are no goals, no training logs, no thoughts of progress.  You are just thrilled to be there, riding a freaking horse.  Thats how I felt today.  No expectations, just sit on that horse and feel him walking.  Reach down and pat his neck and feel how strong and smooth it is.  Dismount and scratch his belly, smell his good horsey smell.